extramadness:

Ease your soul here

becauseitisjohnnydepp:

When I wake up in the morning, love
And the sunlight hurts my eyes
And something without warning, love
Bears heavy on my mind.
Then I look at you
And the world’s alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it’s gonna be
A lovely day

fuckyeah1990s:

I was bored last night and wrote this little story, I wanted to narrate it myself, but I had stuff to do today, so I hired a guy off fiverr.com to narrate it for me. Enjoy.

I creeped your blog. Not to creep. I wanted to see if you were still alive. You were. You look the same, older, but less glamorous. And your eyes… they weren’t the same as I remembered. once bright and brilliant, now frail and obedient, agony and darkness clouded you, and yet you were smiling.

The photo I saw of you was at a party, the party was inside someones apartment, it looked like there were 10 other people there,  you were holding a can of beer, you were smiling, you were slightly out of focus, the apartment seemed as if it were downtown in a trendy area of a big city, you looked happy. there was a art print of pablo picasso’s the three musicians in the background, i thought that was chill. Our relationship replayed in my mind as if it were a movie playing on fast forward, sometimes it’d stop on a really cool scene, then fast forward again, it must have lasted about 30 seconds in my mind.

then I left your blog and I went back to my life and thought about cool stuff. A few weeks later, I wanted to write a short story about the 2000s and being in love, so naturally I thought about us again because you were the first girl I ever loved.

It was 2005 or 2006, we lived close to each other in an affluent suburb, there were parks and trees and spacious grassy areas, all the restaurants were new, the shopping centers were new, everything was new, the houses, the streets, the sidewalks. at 9PM the entire neighborhood would be dead, if you went outside all you could hear would be a light hum of electricity, maybe an owl or some stupid bird, at night our entire neighborhood was a giant private park.

we spent a lot of time together on nights like those, there was a spot by a public tennis court where no one would play tennis in, ever. you needed a key from some dumbass neighborhood group, so we’d hang out on a table benchy thing that was right next to it.  i’d see you sitting there, waiting for me, the fluorescent light illuminating sparkles of dust, surrounding the air around you, you were lit like a silent movie star, gorgeous and graceful, i felt special, because you were so beautiful, and it was me you were waiting for. claire de lune vibes radiated around us, we didn’t have to say hi, or say anything, we’d just start kissing not passionate movie kissing, but real life delicate kissing, when we kissed it was always soft. our lips would touch, and  i’d get completely lost in you, everything would disappear for me. the white fluorescent street light swarmed over us, soft light from the stars and all the sky, a mosquito saw us and saw a terrible blue poisonous fog of hatred instead of flying towards us, it dropped dead. the nothing of night, and a whirling of pale glittering blue light, an old woman watched us from a 2nd story window, she watched us for about a minute, her hand grazed the window, then she turned away slowly in defeat. i hoped she died. maybe she is dead.

there a lot of stories i could retell about our relationship, way more interesting than the one im telling now, but that summer, when we’d hang out late at night, and talk and kiss, where nothing particularly interesting happened, it was the happiest i’ve ever been in my life. i’ve always wanted to feel that again, or somehow recreate with other girls. nothings ever come close. or maybe it has, it just wasn’t the same. first loves are like that i guess. 

I wondered what would happen if we ever saw each other again, I wondered if I would still want you. I don’t think so. That night I creeped your blog and saw that photo of you, I recognized you, but you weren’t the same person, I felt like even though we haven’t talked in years, I could figure you out instantly, your life was going down a completely predictable path, you seem like everyone else, with the same boring opinions, a typical taste in music, it would depend on what type of music you preferred, but once i knew i could probably list your top 5 favorite groups. you work a job, and you go to work, you make a lot of money, you have friends, you’re living in a cool city, and you have fun, you’re happy, and I’m glad for you. I think I still want the 18 year old version of you, I want to be 18 again too. two ignorant reckless wild sociopaths eating day old pizza, snorting cocaine, completely aware of how meaningless life is, and wanting the world to end. we hoped to somehow contribute to the world ending. i could see the apocalypse in your eyes, and it was beautiful.

I’ll always love you, but I’ll never love you again.